Yesterday was day one of having all three shows in production. Well before lunch came I knew with a terrible certainty that I was screwed. Producing three sitcoms at the same time is an impossibility. It is my hope that I can keep this information from CBS for as long as possible. Once they start panicking there will be an inevitable domino effect of fear, confusion and regrettable decisions. Emergency meetings will be held. Ideas to «fix the shows» will be bandied about. Perhaps its time for the characters on the Big Bang Theory to use their knowledge of science to solve crime? What if on Two and a Half Men, Charlie and Alan went into business together? Maybe opened an upscale restaurant with a funny chef and sassy waiters. Even better, what if it was all filmed like a documentary so they spoke directly into the camera? Wouldn’t this be a good time to get rid of Charlie’s bowling shirts and shorts? For sweeps, what about a heart-warming story where Alan struggles with a secret learning disorder? And Jake… what if we learn Jake is gay? GLAAD award! And hey, as long as we’re alt-lifestyling, how about if the characters on Mike&Molly break into song in each episode? Just spitballin’ here but who else is visualizing a big production number of Queen’s «Big Bottom Girls» with thirty or forty chubby dancers? Ooh even better, Elvis’ «Hunka Hunka Burning Love?»